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Knowledge is POWER.
Gender: F
Age: 27
State: Michigan
Country: United States
Experience...
sense losing my 11monthold son Malachi ive never been the same i was pregnant with my now 3 yearold daughter at the time and my relatinship with my now 3 yearold father ended soon afterward. i still cant put closure to it to this day because the way it all went down i feel like how could a walking talking child just up and pass away being he was a healthy and up to dates on shots and everything.At the time of malachis death i had other three children living with me and a forth living in California the three with me were ages 2,5,6 i rocked malichi to sleep at 10:00pmhim on the couch next to the tv room where my boyfriend not the father of malachi was watching tv in the other room told him i would be back down in awhile after i put my 2 yearold to sleep i went up stairs and got the patting him to sleep and feel asleep with him and I woke up at 2:45am not knowing the next 10 minutes were going to turn into a living hell i came down stairs malachi was laying on my boyfriends chest i was wondering if he got the trash out cause trash was to pick up day and it wasent done so i told him off on my way to the restroom and headed back upstairs and told him to bring malachi i heard his footsteps coming upsairs so i was prepared tp put my precious son in the bed when he said its like hes not breathing when i picked him up his head jerked back it was like a bad nightmare i ran wih him downsairs lied him on the floor and began cpr while he called 911 they worked for it seems like a hour and they couldent get my angels heart beating i called my mom and she came to get me and the kids i woke the kids up and they kept asking what about malichi coming with us it was hard and i wondered about my boyfriend cause at times he was abusive towards me and i couldent except he was never coming back so my relationship ended also. I dont think anyone can ever completely heal from tradgedy such as a death of a loved one but you find a place to stash it inside your heart and it makes you feel good to bring it out sometimes and just think of all the good memmories and let the crying flow bacause its all part of the healing process [329]
Gender: F
Age: 23
State: nj
Country: usa
Experience...
When I was 16 years old I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. He was premature (27 weeks) and was very sick. After 8 weeks in the nicu he came home. I couldn`t have been happier. They told me that he was doing very good and everything would be ok. About 4 weeks later he became very ill. When we took him to the hospital they started doing all types of things to him and kicked me and my mom out of the room. Everthing happened so fast. I remember the nurses calling all types of doctors down to the ER on the loudspeaker. After he was "stabalized" they admitted him and told us that they weren`t sure what was wrong with him.Three days later he died in my arms. Seven years later i am still in so much pain! i cry a lot at night and my current boyfriend thinks I`m crazy. I haven`t been able to get over this pain. After Andrew died my mother, who was still upset that I had even gotten pregnant, blamed me for his death. she said it was my fault for not eating properly or taking prenatal vitamins while I was pregnant. the truth is that though out that entire pregnancy I was very depressed. I`ve never told anyone but I was date raped and that`s how I got pregnant. I never told anyone who the baby`s father was so my mother called me a hoe and told everyone that I didn`t even know who i was pregnant for.
after all these years I have managed to forgive my mother but i just can`t stop missing Andrew. Now I want to have another child but I am so scared.I really need HELP!!!!!
[194]
Gender: M
State: NM
Experience...
We lost our daughter (age 9) on May 30th, 2005 unexpectantly. This has been the hardest most painful experience we have ever gone through. People expect you to be over it within months. Others who have gone through this from 2 years back to 40 years back tell me you never get over it. I have read many articles saying it is worse to have one of your children die as apposed to a sibling, or parent.
For more information see http://jenae.gallegos.home.att.net under the coping with grief link. [143]
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