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Knowledge is POWER.
Gender: F
Age: 34
State: Florida
Country: Dade
Experience...
For a few years now, my husband and I have been having issues, I beleive that things can be worked out but he is of the opinion that it is over.
He has asked me for a divorce but has not made a move to proceed to have anything done in that direction.
When we got married I did not realize that I had married his family, His family lives in the two houses next door to us, his neice and nephew in one house and his sister and her four kids in the next house.
When I married him he had his house already so I moved in. He is so in love with his family that he sees nothing wrong with them being around all the time, they practically live with us. The children are between 9 and 20 and they all eat, sleep and bath in our house just about every day, now I have a problem with this, because I have to feed them etc. they make a mess and never want to help clean up. They have very little respect for me because both he and his sister strengthen them that it is his house, they are his family and they can do whatever they want in his house and I have no say.
His sister is hardly ever at home so I am constantly having to deal with and her four children along with my three (ages 4-11), its not easy but he thinks I am mean and have no love in my heart for his family.
I ty to explain to him how hard it is, I grew up with only my immediate family around, my mother, father, sister and brothers, no cousins etc, he grew up the exact opposite.
Our kids actually slept in the room with us until about a year ago when I demanded that they sleep in their own rooms.
Anyway after he asked for the divorce, I was sleeping on the sofa, the third night I went on the sofa, he walked down the corridor and said that what I was doing was not making any sense, a few nights after that I fell asleep in our room while watching tv, Middle of the night I woke up feeling sad and lonely, I initiated intercourse with him, in which he participated wholeheartedly, I told him at that point that I was not on any protection, but his response was "Let God Decide" God has decided and I am now pregnant, I have told him that I have missed my period but todate he has not said anything to me regarding the situation, during the past month we have no really talked about anything, we have had relations a few more times, I am now in a funny position because his attitude towards me has not changed and he still puts his family first and I think he still wants a divorce. [239]
Gender: F
Age: 27
State: Ohio
Country: USA
Experience...
I am a 27 year old who has been looking for a real realationship like everyone else is. One day I stumbbled upon something great out of the blue. we started dating, and got close fast. On our first date he told me that he was divorced. Not a big deal. he wanted the divorce, they have been together total for 10 years, married for 4. The divorced ended good. No kids from the marriage either. Now, we have been together for almost 8 months. Things are good. He still has photos of them around not displayed but present, and her wedding garter in the closet along with other wedding pictures and things. he is a few years older than I am, and wants a future, wants to be married and have kids. He talks this way to me, about us. I am having a very difficult time believeing him when he talks about our future together. I ask him if he still has feelings for her, and is ready to date?! His answer is always `Yes, I want you. I love you.` I have told him that the things around bother me more than words can say. And to top that off, my lease is up in a couple months here and asked, just asked to see if I would move in with him ( in the house that was the first house they baught, he still lives there). At this point I would say no because i would feel like that will never be my/our house. I will never be 100% comfortable there. Can you blame me?? And when will be the day or time to get ride of those past things laying around?? They day I move in, or the day that we get married?? I am soo confused, and there has been nothing to help me. I have found some help in a book called "How to marry a divorced man". If anyone knows any chat rooms to talk to divorced people who have gone through this, please let me know, I personally cant afford professional help. :) [231]
Gender: M
Age: 36
State: MI
Country: USA
Experience...
I need to tell you my story to let you know that not all bad experiences are the man`s fault. My divorce happened two years ago; today, I am happy to say I have a loving and supportive girlfriend. Anyways...I was married for nearly five years and got two girls in the package that were not mine but I took it upon myself to raise them as though they were. My ex had this major problem with spending money we didn`t have, bouncing checks, and putting us further and further in debt. What`s more, I helped her do it by giving her control of the finances and letting her have my entire paycheck every two weeks. I am not saying I was naive. I chose to trust and love her from the start and gave her all the freedom a woman could want. It was my first marriage after all...I was going to college and working part-time work-study at the school. I would be gone two to three times a week from 7am until 10:30pm. I took the bus back and forth as she had the only car. She called her mom and her mom`s boyfriend to come live with us to help us out financially, only when they got here they couldn`t find jobs. Then she tells me to find a second job and I tell her I would if she gives me the car but she won`t. Her mom and mom`s boyfriend living with us caused all sex to stop as we gave her girls one bedroom and her mom and boyfriend the other in a 2-bedroom place; we ended up sleeping in the living room. In the months leading up to the divorce, she told me I had no right to discipline her kids as they were not my flesh and blood, I had no control over what went on under my own roof, my ex was talking to her ex, and I was miserable and in denial of being miserable. She had bought two DVDs and had just finished watching one and was putting the other in. She had to leave to go to work in 30 minutes. I was cramming for a test so I could watch the Red Wings hockey game that night. I asked her why she was putting the second DVD in when she had to go to work in 30 min. She said maybe mom wants to watch it. I said you can watch it another night; I want to watch hockey; its not like you rented them, you bought them and they are not going anywhere, right? She mutters something under her breath and I blow up and say she is being a "b"-word which she was and she says shes the best "b" I`ll ever have and storms out the door. I acted like nothing happened and watched hockey. The next day, I go to the school on the bus. When I get home that night, in the middle of March, in the cold snow (20 below out) I find my stuff waiting for me on the porch and me locked out. I had two weeks before my college finals. I call by payphone and she answers and says she wants a divorce. I was in Detroit at the time (her hometown; I agreed to move down there) and my hometown was 200 miles to the north. I didn`t know the area well, didn`t have any friends that could help me, and had less than 5 dollars to my name. I had to call my mother to come get me and move back in with her until I could get back on my feet and get another place of my own. Before calling my ex or my mother, I considered freezing to death out in the cold; I felt like no one cared anymore; like I just lost my whole world. And although it took months I finally was able to replace everything I lost and then some; I even got my own car now. Needless to say, anyone who says they can never start over again I`m here to say you can. It`s not easy and it`ll take a while. Today I am a college grad. I went on to get my bachelor`s and associate`s in accounting. I decided I wasn`t going to let my ex take that away from me too. After my own experience, though, even to this day, I am in no hurry to get married again. If you ever have second thoughts, like I did on my wedding day, DO NOT go through with the wedding!!! Gut instincts may be more right than you think. [102]
Gender: F
Age: 14
State: califorina
Country: usa
Experience...
my parents are going through a divorce and its spilt the family ...it spilted so much that every time when my little brothers come over they cause a fight with me its been 9 months sinces it started.my dad is re-marrring in 1 month and iwas abused my mom .She tryed to kill me 9 times but its just a nother day as a divorce family ..for me now im out school and the sad part is im a princess in a country and my mom stole all my money ,my jewels .but i dont care really .i live with my dad full time and we go through it one day at a time.im happier living with my dad, i guess that was ment to happen after all. [53]
Gender: F
Age: 14
State: califorina
Country: usa
Experience...
my parents are going through a divorce and its spilt the family ...it spilted so much that every time when my little brothers come over they cause a fight with me its been 9 months sinces it started.my dad is re-marrring in 1 month and iwas abused my mom .She tryed to kill me 9 times but its just a nother day as a divorce family ..for me now im out school and the sad part is im a princess in a country and my mom stole all my money ,my jewels .but i dont care really .i live with my dad full time and we go through it one day at a time. [52]
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