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Knowledge is POWER.
Gender: F
Age: 37
State: CA
Experience...
I just broke up with a compulsive liar. He lied to me from the first date. He lied about where he lived, where he worked, what he did for a living, about his parents, about his past marriage, about his education, even about his real name. I discovered his lies about a year into our relationship when he was already living with me. I broke it off briefly but gave him another chance because at the time I was very much in love with him (or who I thought he was) and was confused. Instead of being honest, he continued to lie. About little things and about huge things, like the fact that his wages were garnished because he had a child he had never told me about. It was very damaging to our relationship. He refused to get counseling and over time, I grew more and more resentful and untrusting. Not to mention I became "Inspector Gadget". He would leave the house to run an errand and I`d immediately snoop through his office, his papers, everything. I became obsessed and thought I was losing my mind. I broke his password to his cell phone and would listen to his messages whenever possible. Needless to say, I don`t regret breaking up with him. As stressful as things were, I felt he really loved me but had serious emotional problems. He blamed everything on childhood sexual abuse that he suffer (that was true, not a lie). I felt bad for him, tried to get him counseling and made excuses for his behavior but I just couldn`t deal with it anymore. He was devastated when I broke up with him and I know he loves me but he refused to go to counseling because he didn`t want to talk about the whole abuse thing. It`s sad what bad parenting and a messed up childhood does to a person as an adult. But I wasn`t willing to live with someone who I just could never trust. Now I don`t know if I`ll ever be able to trust again. I don`t even know if I want another relationship or marriage. And I`m okay with it. I`ve been through enough. [399]
Gender: F
Age: 40
State: ontario
Country: canada
Experience...
I have a problem here.
I can`t keep my word.....I always screw up!
HERE`S THE PROBLEM..........
My husband asked me not to have anyone over until the renovations were done..
MY SISTER CALLS AND ASKS ME WHAT THE KIDS AN I ARE DOING..SHE SUGGESTED I GO TO HER HOUSE..
I FIGURED ITS TOO HOT AND MY KIDS LIKE TO SWIM IN THE BACKYARD POOL,SO I TOLD HER TO COME AND HAVE A SWIM WITH THER DD ASWELL....
NOW I KNOW WHAT WAS SAID AND I STILL WENT AHEAD AND DID IT !
I GET ALL CONFUSED SOMETIMES WHEN MAKING DECISIONS.
NOW HE IS REALLY MAD AS HELL AT ME......
I DON`T KNOW HOW TO COVER MYSELF...
CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME ADVICE OR MAYBE SUGGESTION AS TO MAKE THIS ONE UP?
THANKS..LA LA
[310]
Gender: F
Age: 34
State: IL
Country: USA
Experience...
I think I have been lying all my life to my friends, family, loved ones.It never came to me that I have a problem until I started not to care about what could happen when the lies become uncovered. I don`t like whom I am and I want to be a carefree happy person that doesn`t have to worry about lying mabe to try to calm the sitiuation or not deal with it at that time. My daughter now lives with my ex-husband in florida now and says I lies to her all the time shw is 11. I lost someone whom I thought we were going to get married but last minute said he couldn`t take all the little lies nor my arguing with my ex. I just recently gave custody to my husband of our daughter because he fought with me constantly called always and took me to court every year for anything and everything. I have gotten caught up with prescription medicine but it doesn`t make me feel any better and all I do is spend alot of money and hurt my husband I do have now who is trying so damn hard to understand why I do this. We are suppose to be moving to a new place a fresgh start but I am afraid I havn`t found a job yet and I know I still have a long way to go to get through this. [291]
Gender: F
Age: 60
State: OR
Country: USA
Experience...
I HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO A COMPULSIVE LIAR FOR 13 YEARS. I WATCH HIM DO OR SAY SOMETHING, AND CALL HIM ON IT, AND HE SAYS HE NEVER SAID OR DID THAT.HE HAS DONE ALL KINDS OF DRUGS IN THE PAST. HE HAS TO FLIRT WITH EVERY WOMAN HE SEES. THEN SAYS THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT,OR SAYS HE DIDN`T DO IT. HE NEVER PAID HIS TAXES SO HAD TO GO BANKRUPT,BUT I WASN`T ON THERE WITH HIM. I WANT TO LEAVE HIM BUT DON`T KNOW WHERE TO GO. I NEED MEDICAL INSURANCE AND HE HAS GOOD INSURANCE, AND SINCE I HAD CANCER 3 YRS AGO ,I WANT TO FEEL I HAVE COVERAGE FOR THE FUTURE. I PUT UP WITH THE LYING BECAUSE OF THAT. SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO PROTECT OUR FUTURE BY PUTTING UP WITH CRAP.[[JUST TELL THEM YOU DON`T WANT TO HEAR LIES ANY MORE AND WALK AWAY WHEN THEY START.IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.]] OH, I FORGOT TO MENTION, MY FATHER WAS JUST LIKE HIM. {{{{I AM REPEATING THE PAST}}}} [246]
Gender: F
Age: 55
State: NY
Country: USA
Experience...
Let me tell you ALL about LYING.
It cost me a marriage when I was much younger to a Wonderful Man.
I started lying about little things. Things I thought would just make life easier. Saying the things I thought he wanted to hear.
THEN he started finding out my lies. So I told bigger more intricate lies to explain away my original lies. Then lying became so much easier than the truth, or so I thought. Still eventually my husband found out about the lies.
He pleaded with me to stop lying. Telling me that soon he would not be able to trust anything I say, and that we would then have no way to work out our problems.
I even lied when we tried to solve problems just so the problems would go away. I found out that not only did those problems go away, but that now those problems were impossible to resolve because I had already lied when trying to resolve them.
Over time my husband became more and more distrustful of me. And because he did not trust me, I did not trust him. Of course he was trustworthy, but I had to think that he was lying as sort of an excuse for my lying. So I constantly accused him of lying while I told more and bigger lies.
Finally my husband caught me in a compromising position. I went to meet one of my girlfriends at a fancy hotel bar. She had called me because of man problems. I had dinner plans with my husband but wanted to see my friend. So I told him that I had to work late and went off to the hotel. Well. After my friend cried her eyes out and left from the side entrance of the hotel, where her car was parked, I headed out the front of the hotel for the doorman to hail me a cab. As chance would have it, I ran into a married male co-worker who I knew was having an affair with another co-worker. I had even discussed this with my husband on a few occasions. We walked out of the hotel together and he put me in a cab. Would you believe that at that moment my husband was driving by and saw me! He questioned me later at home, and of course I lied. He told me where he saw me, and that he saw me with my co-worker who was having an affair. Of course my husband thought that I was really the woman he was having an affair with. I then tried to tell him the truth. But as should be expected my husband did not believe me. He struggled with it, and anguished over it, but finally he decided that he had, had enough of my lying. That even if I had not cheated on him, that the toll my lying has taken on him. The problems he had to face deciding when to believe me, and when not to, finally had been to much. Try as I might to assure him that I would NEVER cheat on him, how could he believe me, when I have lied to him repeatedly.
Now I am much older, remarried and happy. But I learned my lesson. And I stopped lying to my partners, and I have never lied to my present husband. That is why I still have him. [95]
Gender: M
Age: 44
State: ca
Country: usa
Experience...
I have been lying to my wife for about 14 years, and we are seperated now because of an aurgument that turned very ugly. We want very badly to work things out, but I can`t seem to keep from telling her the truth in everything that I do. I feel that I am trying to do the right things, but say all the things that are not true or are partial truths. I have lyed to her about money, things that I say I am not going to do, like involving our children with question and answer periods about what is happening, about what people say about her, IE: my parents, and actions that I have done to myself or with others. I feel as if I need to say whatever is the right answer so that it will not get me into trouble, even though it is not the truth as to what the situation is. Like did I do a certain task, I say I did it even though it has not been done. It seems to me that I blurt out what they want to hear, not to what was really done, good or bad. I feel as if I do not have control over what I say at times, ans I say what is I think is the right answer even though it is lying. [85]
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