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Knowledge is POWER.
Gender: F
Age: 33
Country: England
Experience...
Hi all, My name is CC
I have experienced two miscarriages. My first was nearly 2years ago and I was 8 weeks pregnant at the time and I was devastated. My second miscarriage was about 8months ago and this time I was 12weeks pregnant and so had to go through a sort of labour to expel the placenta and remaining pregnancy. This I found very distressing let alone painful. I became very depressed and wanted to stay at home and hide. I resented my friends and family members who have children or were expecting. I found it awful when I saw people shout at there children when I so desperately wanted them. My husband and I are still trying and I sometimes get symptoms that I had when I was pregnant and so wonder if I am pregnant again only to get my period and then I feel the loss and upset all over again. I hope that we will be successful sometime soon, but who knows. I resent it when people say to me `it will happen` as there is no guarantee that it will, and I feel this response is more about them being uncomfortable than about trying to show support. This may seem a negative viewpoint, but many months after my experience I am still suffering. I have found it extremely helpful to share my thoughts and feelings here and I hope this helps others.
I just wanted to say that unless you have been through a miscarriage then you really don`t understand. My husband and doctor have been extremely supportive and I believe this will get easier with time. I brought myself a pendant as a permanent reminder of the babies I lost that will always be with me.
My hope is with you all.
CC [530]
Gender: F
Age: 32
State: nsw
Country: australia
Experience...
HI MY NAME IS TRISH AND I HAVE HAD SEVEN MISCARRIAGES.WE HAVENT GOT ANY CHILDREN YET.HAD LOTS OF TEST SICK OF BEEN TOLD IT IS OKAY TO TRY AND THEN HAVE ANOUTHER MISCARRIAGE.I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY ANTIBODIES SO WHEN I FALL PREGNANT I HAVE TO HAVE A INJECTION ONCE A DAY FOR NINE MONTHS AS WELL AS A LOW DOSE ASPRIN SINCE BEEN TOLD THIS HAVE TRIED TWICE BUT THEY WERE MY LAST TWO MISCARRIAGES.I DONT NO WHAT I SHOULD FEEL ANYMORE BUT I WONT GIVE UP TILL THEY TELL ME I CANT HAVE CHILDREN [502]
Gender: F
Age: 23
State: ohio
Country: usa
Experience...
I want to start off by saying I am deeply sorry to anyone who has had a Miscarriage.
My name is Melissa, I`m 23 and have had three miscarriages. All three were very early miscarriage. The first happened when I was 18, and a month before I graduated for high school. It started when I was at work and I wasn`t even 5 weeks yet. The second through me for a loop (I didn`t even realize I was pregnant little over 4 weeks) and it was one year and three months after my first. This one hurt me more than anything. I was sad and angry for along time and eventually ended up in counseling over it. Then recently Sept. 16 2006 I found out I was accidently pregnant yet again. I figured I was 5 weeks.
This was with a different man who I met after my first miscarriage and didn`t really start a relationship with until three years ago. I love him and we had talked about starting a family eventually (basically when I done with college)and this unexpected miracle through us both. Neither of us were ready and he was more vocal about that in different ways.
Well a few days later I started cramping more then I already was and a sort time later I started bleeding. I was so devistated that when I called my boyfriend to tell him all I could do was cry. I wanted my baby, I loved my baby and still do, I loved all my children and always will. I would be alittle over 13 weeks and wish I was still pregnant and I`m dieing to start trying but unfortuantly it appears we will be waiting.
I`d advice to anyone going thrue a miscarriage to grieve for your baby and don`t care about want others say you should or shouldn`t be doing especially if they haven`t been there. People can say things when they are trying to help that can be hurtful (my own grandmother say oh you probably weren`t even pregnant so doing get all upset about something thats not even true)so find people that have been there to support you because its something that will be helpful, whether its online or face to face. My children were apart of me and my life and no one will ever take that away.
Wishing you all gentler days and I this has been helpful.
Check out www.missfoundation.org everyone is understanding and helpful there. [356]
Gender: F
Age: 17
State: New Brunswick
Country: Canada
Experience...
I`m 17 years old, I`m graduating from high school in less then 3 months i found out i was pregnant about 2 weeks ago. My boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years and we always talked about having kids. But the news that i was pregnant we were scared about what we were going to do and about what our parents were going to say. We told our parents and our friends that weekend. Then everyone started getting excited, espeacially my boyfriend and i. I was 5 weeks along and i started having some light spotting.The next day i saw my family dr. He said some women do get spotting but he sent me for an ultra sound the next day. everything looked fine, i was so happy, i saw my baby`s heart beat.. it went on for about 4 days on and off.. then Friday it got a bit heavier. I stil didn`t have to use a pad or anything but it was noticeably heavier. we went thru the weekend with it staying about the same Wednesday it was alot heavier. I went to the out patience and then did a cervical examination everyhting seemed normal there. But to be safe i went and got another ultra sound. This time there was no heart beat i was devastated. I cried. It was so hard telling people. My boyfriends been really good about it all he sits and holds me while i cry he`s quite upset too. We both really wante dthis baby. He told me wen we move out this summer after we get comfortable then we can try again. i`m kind of nervous about trying again beacuse i`m worried about having another miscarriage but i can`t have a baby if i don`t try and i want a baby i always have. we both do. but it will be better timing next time. I`m still very upset. And cry alot. But i just thaught i`d share my story . I liked reading the other ones so.. maybe someone will want to read mine. [236]
Gender: F
Age: 24
State: fl
Country: united states
Experience...
I am 24 years old, I have three children ages 7, 3, and 16 months. I had my tubes tied after I had my last child, which didn`t work. Apparantly the method my doctor used in tying my tubes is typically only used within 48 hours of delivery, and being that i had post partum hemmhorrage,they waited 5 days. One of my tubes basically looks untouched my new doctor said. Anyway, about 6 months after I had my daughter I got very ill and went to the ER with a severe case of the flu, two days later, my doctor calls me at work and informs me my pregnancy test from the hospital was positive. Why they didn`t tell me that at the ER is unknown to me. I told him that was impossible because I had just had my tubes tied after my last child back in Indiana (i had just moved here) he asked that i come immediately to the hospital and get an ultrasound to make sure it was still in my uterus and not in my tubes (apparantly it`s a high risk of ectopic pregnancy after a tubal ligation) I went, there they were, twins, 9 weeks! I`m thin too so i just thought i was gaining weight, i have no idea why i didn`t know. It had crossed my mind I actually had remarked to my mother the week before "if i didn`t know any better, i`d think i was pregnant" becasue of the nausea and me gaining weight, but dismissed it becasue of my tubal ligation. I already have 3 children adn although I`m married, I am 24 and we don`t have a lot of money, I think it was the stress of worrying about how i`m going to feed 5 children as opposed to 3. A week later, I miscarried. I was at work and told everyone about my pregnancy before i miscarried, then had to take a week off becasue of my miscarriage. I couldn`t believe it, but when i got back, a guy asked me where I"d been, i told him i had miscarried, and do you know what this person said to me? he said "i just dont` believe it, how do you find out you`re pregnant and then miscarry so soon, it doesn`t make sense"
what?! I don`t know you (remember i had just moved) and i said somethign very personal, and i don`t normally say personal things, but i was asked, and i was upset, so i had blurted it out about my miscarriage. And this guy had the audacity to say something like that, it broke my heart. I was so upset at his comment i had to call my husband and have him come get me because I couldn`t drive home.
Some people just don`t understand the pain that goes along with it. Even though I was worried about having 5 children, I would never wish my children away, there is such a hole here in my soul. I had always wanted twins, but after 3 children, you look at twins with a different perspective you know.
My heart aches over my loss, and knowing some people don`t understand, some of us know what each of us are going through. I am now going through steps to become an egg donor for infertile couples. I think that might help make me feel better, because although I`ve lost, I also have 3 amazing gifts and can`t imagine what people must go through without children when this happens. Good Luck to you all, and God bless.
[128]
Gender: F
Age: 18
State: Ca
Country: usa
Experience...
I was 17 when I had my first miscarriage. My boyfriend didn`t want to have the baby but i did with all my heart and soul. When I found out I was pregnant I cried because i knew my boyfriend didnt want it. I was scared that he might have left me. He wanted me to have an abortion but i didn`t have the heart to kill my child. I would have raised my baby on my own without the help of a man. A week after I found out I was pregnant I had my miscarriage. I didn`t go to the doctors right away, I waited four days. On the forth day this chunk of flesh came out. I knew it was my baby. I picked it up and saved it. I went to the hospital and they confirmed my miscarriage. I cried and cried and all my boyfriend would tell me was that I`ll get over it.Don`t let it get to you. I didn`t understand how he could have been so cold. I had lost my baby our baby, and he seemed like he didn`t care at all. He never ever showed feelings toward the baby like i did. He never once ever said he felt sad but he felt relieved. He wasn`t much help or support. Til this day i remember my baby and cry when i see baby clothes or toys or even a newborn. I know that I will never get over the fact my baby isnt here with me even though I am young, Sex isn`t something to play with. I knew the consequences of having introcourse but I didn`t He did. I always thought that the man that loved you will always have your back but turns out that, that the man that said he loved me was nothing but a crowded. I hate him for not wanting our child. Everyday I think about what if my baby wasn`t alive, what if it was a she or he, all this If`s I will ask for the rest of my life,But I know something that when I die my baby will be waiting for at the gates of Heaven until then I will keep my baby in my mind, my heart and thoughts.
* IN LOVING MEMORY OF BABY JR. JULY 23,2004* [116]
Gender: F
Age: 28
Country: Australia
Experience...
Hi,
I have been trying for a child for 3.5 years and I have now had 8 miscarriages 4 of which were 8-13 weeks and I had all curettes and the last 4 were very early 2-4 weeks.I was the only one out of all my girlfriends that wanted kids now i`m the only one without.I wouldn`t say i`m jealous of my close girlfriends but i know there is always ENVY in my eyes.My best friend and i look at photos of myself before the miscarriages and now , she made me she the sadness in my eyes that i didn`t even notice.Sometimes i really think i`m coping and i`m not but i never realise till i do feel a bit better and have a bit of a break.I`ve had all the tests i can and nothing comes up, my dream has always been to have a family and i`m not giving up even though i`ts very emotionally draining.i just keep picking myself up again.
Its also a big test on my marriage my partner has to put up with me hormonally,sad,frustrated and angry quite a bit.We usually always have a strong relationship but this does take a toll on us sometimes.
Also my uncles girlfriend had 7 miscarriages and has just had a little boy at 32 weeks who is thriving with no problems at all.No reasons were known for her miscarriages either.
So there is hope thats what i`m holding on to anyway! [114]
Gender: F
Age: 26
State: ks
Country: UNITED STATES
Experience...
First of all I would like to say my heart goes out to everyone.... My husband and I just recently went through our second miscarriage... The 1st one was really hard (13 weeks), the second at (5 1/2 weeks).. With the second one I find myself so angry, not understanding why it happend to two people that our so in love and fnancially cabale of having a child........It hurts so bad and i feel so empty inside, does this pain ever get better....... [112]
Gender: F
Age: 33
State: Ca
Country: USA
Experience...
My husband and I finally were blessed by finding out we were pregnant with our first child just a couple weeks ago. The same day we confirmed with the doctor my pregnancy, and that I was 4 1/2 weeks.. that day I started to lightly bleed and cramp. I went home from work... and the doctor gave me a leave of absence for the next couple weeks.. anyway.. I thought things were getting better.. the bleeding almost subsided.. but then my doctor told me that since there was still some bit of bleeding.. that she wanted to rush me to the OBYN, who is a friend of hers, and a high risk pregnancy doctor. (I was a high risk pregnancy due to my hypothyrodism). Anyway.. when I saw him, he was horrible.. he couldn`t identify the baby, I had to point the baby out to him, he didn`t think my hypothyroid even needed to be checked.., he didn`t offere me a progesteron test to see if that`s why I was bleeding.. instead, he decided to do an ultrasound.. but he didn`t do a normal ultrasound.. he decided to do an internal ultrasound. Here it is, I was told by one doctor that I can`t even make love with my husband because it may pose a risk to the baby due to my bleeding.. and yet this doctor sticks the internal probe inside of me that`s much longer then my husband.. and moved it around carelessly.. and with in 12 hours.. I started having serious cramps.. and hard bleeding.. I knew I had lost the baby.. I blamed myself.. and then today at the hospital I met another woman with the same doctor, also a high risk pregnancy and he did the same thing to her, and she also miscarried her baby earlier this year.. (when I met her today she was newely pregnant after the last miscarriaged caused by this doctor.) My husband and I are so devistated.. our window to have a child is closing.. and then that man did what he did.. what I also found out today, is that he isn`t actually classified as a high risk pregnancy doctor, .. he doesn`t meet the criteria.. it`s just something that he professes. *sigh* And so here I sit.. still bleeding from my miscarriage.. every time I go to the bathroom, and see the blood I am reminded of our lost little baby.. and I just cry. I am so sad, and angry, and discouraged, and depressed. I don`t want to go to work.. I don`t want to visit with anyone.. I just wish I could have time go back and choose not to go to that doctor like I was told to do. Maybe my baby would still be alive. It hurts so bad. I just can`t stop hurting. [110]
Gender: F
Age: 31
State: OK
Country: USA
Experience...
I have had five miscarriages. It is hard to lose the little one you have been carrying inside of you. It`s like losing a very big part of yourself and the emptiness which follows is like no other. My most recent miscarriage was just 5 days ago. The baby was 13 weeks developed and perfectly formed (except for the sex). I couldn`t bear to look at the lifeless body. Although the miscarriage itself was hard, what is even harder is what it is doing to my marriage. My husband will not talk to me about it and when I mention anything he stops me from talking. I feel as though I will explode. I need someone I can trust to talk to but so far I haven`t been comfortable talking with anyone. In the past people have said things like: "It was for the best" or " God must have a plan" or "Are you going to try again?" It hurts. [99]
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